love demands trust
by kristy87
Summary: post abrti2 fic! Grissom goes to Sara's apartment after the hearing. GSR


Disclaimer: I do not own CSI : (

Summary: This is a "A bullet runs through it - part 2" post episode fic. After the hearing Grissom goes to Sara's apartment. GSR

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love demands trust

His knuckles hit hard against the wooden door, if he wouldn't feel so numb it might hurt. He's waiting for her to open the door, impatiently but at the same time hoping that she wouldn't open too soon. On his way to her apartment he had thought about thousand things, actually it had been his plan to think about what to say to _her_ and _only_ about that, but there were just too many things running through his head.

She opens, he can see that she hasn't been sleeping although she's wearing her sleeping clothes, a black velour tracksuit. A few months ago he had always pictured her going to bed in simple pyjamas, track suits never came to his mind, but he loves the way she looks in them, the black one is his favorite. "Hey." She sais softly, opening the door wider for him, inviting him in without words.

He enters and softly closes the door behind them. He wants to say something but he can't, he just doesn't find the words and the strength to speak.

"Want a beer?" She asks not waiting for an answer as she opens the bottle for him.

He doesn't move.

She sighs and leans back against the kitchen counter. Her eyes never leave him. "How was the hearing?"

He shrugs. He had to tell a father that his son had been shot because their suspect had needed a bike for his escape. He had to tell a father that he was probably loosing his son because some jerk wanted to steal his bike! So how should the hearing have been? Funny, joyful, cheerful? What did she think?

He feels anger and frustration rising up again, he wishes that he couldn't feel anything, he knows that it's not her fault, he knows that she asked him because she hoped he could talk about it, because she hoped that talking about it would help him. Sometimes he hates it that she knows him so well. Sometimes he hates it that she was the one who taught him to feel.

Then she walks over to him, the beerbottle still in her hand. She stopps just before their bodies touch each other, he can feel her breath on his skin and he wishes he could feel more of her. She reaches out for his cheek but he turns his face away, knowing that althoughwanting to feel her, he is not able to stand it at the moment.

"What's wrong?" She asks and the concern in her voice lets his chest tighten. She stares at him, and the way she stares at him makes him want to run away and hide and cry.

"Something." That's all he can say. He doesn't know more. She's the one who knows him, he never claimed to know anybody, not even himself.

"Did I do something wrong?" She asks and this hurts him even more.

"No." He breaks away from their closeness and walks over to the sofa. He takes seat and stares at her, for a moment their eyes meet and he feels her confusion.

She's standing in the middle of the room and stares at him... always stares at him. He knows that she's trying to find out what's wrong. He knows that she's hesitating to ask further questions, he knows that she doesn't know whether to remain standing in the middle of the room or to walk over to him and take seat next to him.

He doesn't know if he wants her to take seat next to him.

Her eyes are searching for points in the room that do not exist, he knows that she's doing this whenever she feels uncomfortable.

Mabye he knows her.

She takes a deep breath and he knows that this is going to be her last try. This is the last question she that she's going to ask if he's not going to answer.

"Did you talk with Jim?"

He nodds softly. "Yes." He could talk now, maybe.

She's nodding softly as she finally makes the decission to take seat on the arm chair next to the sofa.

"I don't know how he's taking it. He was... somehow convinced that it was Sophia. He was totally taken aback by these news."

"We all were shocked."

"Yeah." he says breathlessly. "Yeah..." Their eyes meet and now he knows that he _needs_ to hold her. "Come here." His whispered plea sounding desperate but not as desperate as he really is.

She slowly stands up and walks over to him. He softly grabs her arms and drags her down on his lap. She's slightly surprised but doesn't make any attempts to pull away from him. He slips his arms around her waist and buries his face in the velour fabric of her track suit jacket.

He feels her lips pressing against his hair, he can feel her hot breath on his cold skin and it makes him shiver softly.

They remain like this and in silence for a long time until he begins to speak again. "I felt like betraying my best friend." His voice is soft and slightly shaking.

She pulls away a little and looks into his eyes, her hand slowly caressing his cheek. "You did not betray him. You had to find out the truth. You had to tell the truth."

"I know. I just hate that." He really hates it. He wishes that he could have covered it up but he knows all too well that it would have never worked.

She's nodding softly as her lips brush over his forehead. He feels that there's a question haunting her, he tries to find out what it might be but he has no idea, only a slight suspicion and he knows that touching on that subject could make it all worse… but he doesn't want her to be haunted by such a question. "I didn't ask her to come over." He says softly and she immediatle pulls away, her confusion reflected in her eyes.

"Sophia." He says. "I didn't ask her to come to my office. She was there when I entered and I wanted to send her away. She didn't want to leave and didn't want to stop talking, then you entered and…"

She smirks softly and he really doesn't understand why.

"What?" Now he's confused.

"You don't really think I could he jealous of …_her_?" She asks unbelieving.

"Well you didn't behave like her best friend when you…"

"It was against the _law_ that she was in your office Gil." She pauses for a second. "I was harsh, but… that's only because she… I don't know, you like some people and there are always some that you don't like. And… you know I'm doing my best to not show her how much I dislike her but sometimes I am just a bad actress."

He brushes a strand of hair out of her face when their eyes meet again. "You're not jealous?"

"No." She smiles softly. "Love demands trust. I couldn't love you if I wouldn't trust you."

_She loves me?_ Heat runs through him like a bolt. He had felt that she loved him but she had never spoken it out in all the months that they had been spending time with each other.

Their lips meet in soft kisses while his hands slip under her track suit jacket and caress over her bare skin. He has never told her that he loves her either. That sudden thaught makes him pull his head away from hers. "I love you Sara." He says serious and soft, meaning it in no other way than in the one that he said it. In all the time that he had known Sara Sidle he had felt it and the long due confession relieves him.

A soft smile flashes over her lips right before they meet his in a passionate and desperate kiss.

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THE END

Hope you enjoyed it at least a bit : ) thank you for reading: )


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